The Intimacy Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, well-being, hop over to these guys love, and closeness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They probably would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach check these guys out who works mostly with gay guys, states that many of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, home though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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